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On Valentines Day, women just want to feel like their partners listen to them, adore them and are willing to selflessly pamper them. Men want to feel like their partners appreciate them, lust for them and treat them well.

There is a lot of grey area, of course, and room for error on a day with so many expectations. There are so many ways to celebrate on Valentines Day, so it’s best to talk about the ideal celebration before the day comes so there can be surprises, but only good ones.

Perhaps you and your partner are the fun-loving, active types. It doesn’t really feel like a “date” unless you’re out somewhere, experiencing new things together. There are many fun things to do on St. Valentines Day with a little foresight.

Skip the Valentines Day chocolate and spend your money on a fun activity instead. Perhaps you can take a wine tasting getaway; stay at a cozy bed-and-breakfast and visit three or four wineries, if you can.

Throw in a theater performance or a nice dinner and you have got the perfect date! Another idea is to plan a day trip within 100 miles of home. Pack up the sandwiches and snacks, fuel up the car and bring the camera!

You can go on a hot air balloon ride, on a day cruise, out to the lake, to a special event, to a historic site or to a national park. Since February can be cold and snowy in some parts of the US, you may want to plan to go snowmobiling, snow-shoeing or skiing if you’re the outdoors-y type. For a more extravagant getaway, why not try one of the inexpensive packages to Las Vegas?

The activities you choose to do on St. Valentines Day don’t have to cost you a fortune. There’s no need to dread a romantic Valentine day and Valentines Day gift when you can have a cheap Valentines Day, without it resembling something cheap.

A home-cooked meal can carry much more sentimentality than a scripted night out. If you’re a stranger to the kitchen, then you could easily cook up Fettuccine Alfredo using a box of noodles and a jar of sauce, adding chopped up/steamed vegetables (broccoli, mushrooms or peppers) and boiled shrimp to garnish.

Buy a nice bottle of wine, light candles and play classical music to set the mood. Don’t forget some chocolates for dessert. Voila!

Another great inexpensive thing to do for Valentines Day is to plan a themed day or evening. Girls love to be pampered, so if executed just right, you can wow her with a spa night.

Prepare a bubble bath for when she gets home and ask the florist for a package of rose petals (much cheaper than buying the actual dozen Valentines Day chocolate), which you can spread out on the bed or in a trail leading to the bathroom. Get freshly laundered, warm towels and buy a few special spa products, such as exfoliating salt scrubs, moisturizers, foot rub lotion, etc.

There are many kits that make this step a breeze. Have a bottle of champagne and a mushy movie (perhaps you can try “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” if you can’t imagine stomaching a chick flick.)

If you live somewhere warm, then try planning a picnic at a scenic location for bonus points! Oh, and don’t forget the hand-written note; it’s practically free and will win her affection like nothing else!

For Guys on Valentine Day, what could be better than showing him your naughty side? Surprise him by stopping at an adult store and letting him pick out a Valentines Day gifts for you, while you get something for him!

Then perhaps you can get a video, massage oils or a romantic board game for the both of you. Another fun thing is to dress up in a fun costume. Whether you’re a sexy nurse, a sexy cop or a sexy teacher, he’s bound to love your imaginativeness!

Be sure you’ve grabbed a few bottles of his favorite wine and prepare a delicious at-home meal for him to win his affection. After all, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach!

If you want to buy him something, think useful and utilitarian. Try to talk to him about his expectations beforehand to gauge whether he’d like a night out, a weekend away or a quiet, romantic Valentines night in.